Context
Strategic Relocation & System Entry
After three years in Ireland, I began a strategic return through Nice and Paris, where I attempted to join a failing business led by a former friend. The plan—framed as a company revival—quickly revealed deeper structural issues (see Governance Section). After seven months, I left and chose to relocate to Sweden in April 2022, aiming for a more stable and transparent environment.
I first settled in Gothenburg, where I stayed several months and briefly worked as an independent courier for Foodora. This role enabled me to obtain a samordningsnummer (temporary number), and shortly after, a personnummer through formal employment.
Before leaving Gothenburg, I had already rented a coworking space where I began outlining long-term projects. This was my first professional space in Sweden—an anchor that typically signals the start of any personal rebuild.
Early Cohabitation & Mutual Dependence
I met Sarah online shortly before relocating to Stockholm. Within two weeks, we moved in together—partly due to a strong connection, but mostly driven by mutual economic need. She had two children and had just lost her flatmate. I needed stable housing in Stockholm. It felt mutually logical.
Shared Budget & Informal Agreement
From my first full paycheck, I contributed up to 16,000 SEK/month toward rent, food, car fuel, insurance, and more. This amount also included an informal reimbursement for the initial months she had supported me.
We had a verbal agreement: either we would build a family, or we would build a company. This was my condition for long-term involvement. I called it our pilot agreement.
Communication Challenges & “Pilotalks”
From the outset, I insisted on structured communication. I created the concept of Pilotalks: one hour of discussion every evening, and weekend walks to reflect and recalibrate. These efforts were short-lived. Over time, communication degraded. My repeated attempts to create a weekly agenda or set shared goals were avoided.
Business Initiative & Weekend Withdrawal
We rented a shared office to develop a review-based platform. I covered around 75% of the costs, and she was to contribute time. Although enthusiastic at first, she soon disengaged—particularly on weekends, which she reserved for leisure.
I tried to bridge our differences by aligning on values, building a company culture, researching competitors, and setting a shared vision. I proposed working sessions to define purpose, mission, and market niche. Despite pockets of motivation, the consistent effort never followed.
Imbalance & Emotional Weight
I began to notice deeper misalignments: parenting philosophies far from my own, unresolved emotional burdens from her past, and recurring disrespect—from both her and her children. Her ex-partner’s presence added stress, often interrupting our daily rhythm or affecting her mood.
I felt reduced to a provider. The trust I offered was used for comfort, not growth. Meanwhile, I was contributing over three-quarters of my income, emotionally and financially committed to something that wasn’t moving forward.
Departure & Closure
I lived with her for 14 months. When neither a family nor a business seemed possible, I made the decision to leave. My departure was clean, without conflict. I never demanded anything in return.
I retain full documentation of my financial contributions. I believe we helped each other for a time, but when the terms silently collapsed, I chose to walk away and realign with my path.
Using Restaurants as a Launch Pad
The move was deliberate. My goal was to stabilize my legal and financial status while gradually preparing for independent tech work. I chose restaurants as a strategic entry point: quick cashflow, proof of address, and immediate access to the Swedish system (personnummer, unemployment insurance, banking).
Last Job Before Quan
Before joining Quan, I worked for 14 months as a dishwasher at Da Peppe Due, a well-known pizzeria in Stockholm. The environment was relaxed yet functional. When tasks were done, it was acceptable to rest, scroll through Instagram, or sit in the private dining room until the next rush. What mattered was being ready when needed, and responsive under pressure.
My chef’s philosophy was simple: the restaurant should work smoothly without his constant presence. That meant trusting the staff, avoiding drama, and preventing complaints. We were never monitored for how we spent our downtime. We ate what we wanted. I regularly photographed my meals, which ranged from lasagna to steak, and even considered creating an Instagram account just for them. Salaries were fair—and sometimes higher than expected.
I left for strategic reasons, but I never felt disposable. That job left me with a sense of trust, dignity, and horizontal respect. It shaped my expectations—and helped me detect when the opposite was happening.
Despite this, the city's stress, noise, and compressed energy had become too much. I needed calmer surroundings, both socially and mentally. Malmö offered a logical reset: softer social dynamics, fewer frictions, and a milder climate—one I knew would be safer to endure if housing became uncertain again.
End of Phase One
I had regained everything I needed materially after nearly a decade of precariousness. I had secured eligibility for unemployment benefits. But remaining a dishwasher any longer would have meant accepting a symbolic label I could no longer carry. The second phase of my strategy had to begin.
Phase Two – From Precarity to Readiness
In May 2024, after a breakup, I entered a period of housing precarity in Stockholm. I no longer had stable shelter, but I retained 24/7 access to a coworking space. The following month, in June, I worked in two restaurants and earned 32,000 SEK—my highest official monthly income.
This marked the start of Phase Two: securing the final tools for tech entrepreneurship. I aimed to acquire a car, an ultra-wide monitor, a backup laptop, and 25,000 SEK in incorporation funds. Once covered, Phase Three—building the company—could begin.
Arrival in Malmö
I arrived in Malmö on November 1, 2024, determined to resume work in a higher-standard kitchen. I shortlisted venues with top-rated service reviews, hoping to find a place where my obsessive attention to detail would be seen as an asset—not a flaw, as in my last job.
Since March 21, I had begun working on the development of a dating app mvp. But on April 13, I decided to put this work on hold in order to fully dedicate myself to the research, writing, and development of Aftershift.se.